So it's that time of year again...time for those of us who are Jews to eat cement (a.k.a Matzah) and feel 10kg's heavier and those of us who are not to eat an abundance of chocolate eggies and feel as though we have eaten a years supply of binges.
Last year this time this holiday was the perfect reason to restrict (no questions asked by my family, due to the fact that they too feel a whole lot heavier this time of year when consuming matzah). This time round it's time to re-work my meal plan and remind myself that matzah only makes me feel like a oompaloompa, but that it is in fact all in my head.
To be honest, I hadn't put much thought into why I had wanted to restrict the last 3 days, and it just hit me why. My pattern a year ago would have looked like this - restrict the week before, eat the matzah and the big ass meals on the first 2 days (because now I was allowed to). Insane, yes, why yes if I lived my life like my head told me to most of you would think I was. And I suppose that means I am.
Combine food issues with family and you got a mess. And that is what every Jewish holiday looks like to me. A big ol mess I feel the need to control. Now trying to step back from the family issues and step back from the controlling it with food and well, it is sort of tough.
Over the last 9 and a half months I have managed to really get a hold of my issues with my family, my food however, is where I slip up. Especially when it comes to family functions. By no means is this an excuse, in fact, it's me acknowledging the issue at hand. I need to relinquish all control when around my family in order to preserve my sanity. I need to hand it over to my HP, hope for the best and stick with my meal plan.
And while I'm at it, not over work myself in order to numb out the feelings coming up.
Lord, there's a lot of work still to do, but somehow I think if I just keep taking it day by day I just might be ok. My gut says this next week is going to run a lot smoother than expected, and boy do I hope it's right. Faith that it will will have to get me through this weekend.
So HP help a girl out here, ok?
Over and out.
Mich
Last year this time this holiday was the perfect reason to restrict (no questions asked by my family, due to the fact that they too feel a whole lot heavier this time of year when consuming matzah). This time round it's time to re-work my meal plan and remind myself that matzah only makes me feel like a oompaloompa, but that it is in fact all in my head.
To be honest, I hadn't put much thought into why I had wanted to restrict the last 3 days, and it just hit me why. My pattern a year ago would have looked like this - restrict the week before, eat the matzah and the big ass meals on the first 2 days (because now I was allowed to). Insane, yes, why yes if I lived my life like my head told me to most of you would think I was. And I suppose that means I am.
Combine food issues with family and you got a mess. And that is what every Jewish holiday looks like to me. A big ol mess I feel the need to control. Now trying to step back from the family issues and step back from the controlling it with food and well, it is sort of tough.
Over the last 9 and a half months I have managed to really get a hold of my issues with my family, my food however, is where I slip up. Especially when it comes to family functions. By no means is this an excuse, in fact, it's me acknowledging the issue at hand. I need to relinquish all control when around my family in order to preserve my sanity. I need to hand it over to my HP, hope for the best and stick with my meal plan.
And while I'm at it, not over work myself in order to numb out the feelings coming up.
Lord, there's a lot of work still to do, but somehow I think if I just keep taking it day by day I just might be ok. My gut says this next week is going to run a lot smoother than expected, and boy do I hope it's right. Faith that it will will have to get me through this weekend.
So HP help a girl out here, ok?
Over and out.
Mich
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