Monday, 12 March 2012

Ramfest in Recovery

What a crazy ass experience, all of which I remember. Winning in my books!

Just a year ago I was stuck in a dysfunctional relationship that should never have been begun in the first place. But once I was in I was transformed, in some way or another after realising that this was the longest relationship I had ever been in, I fell into the trap (set up by my low self-esteem) and believed that clearly only someone with that many issues could ever love me and be with me for longer that 3 weeks -  what I have come to call the 3 week curse.

A year on and happily single (o.k. that's a lie sometimes, but for the most part it's true) and clean, not entirely serene (but that's o.k, it's life). And still making some of the stupid mistakes, but that's o.k too, because if I expected myself to just be fixed I would be as naiive as the family members of a dear friend of mine (not naming names, *cough* *cough*).

Nearing 9 months now (saying that in my head sounds obscenely weird) and finally went to my first outdoor adventure... Ramfest. Off I went, on my own - dear g-d, must have been feeling real brave yesterday and driven insane by my deep love for Inflames.

Thankfully as I have come to realise over the last couple months, I always tend to bump into friends. And had made plans to meet up with some of the my lovely friends that I had not seen since I disappeared into rehab. Unfortunately it didn't go exactly according to plan (as I didn't get to see all of them), but that's ok I guess.

What it did make me realise is just how much I am willing to put my body through in order to watch one of my all time favourite musical geniuses. Migrane aside it was a phat jam! I could have listened to them for the rest of the night and the next day quite happily.

I did however learn a lot of life lessons upon my Ramfest journey and a few things about myself. That said, no hangover and an early bedtime so I could be at work today all bright and bushy tailed.. it was an epic day (even if I got totally sweaty and often had to go dunk my ass under the water towers). The joys of festivals. (laughs to self) Responsible Mitchel, has changed in so many ways and yet remains flawed and driven by her heart and not her head some days is here to stay. She just needs to learn to manage the heart issues with a little more logic and a little less hopeless romantic wishing for the Decembers of yesteryear and all will be well.

Just for today I'm still my hopeless romantic self and that's o.k. I don't need to punish myself, nor do I need to beat myself up for the next month because I'm still human. I am human, and that means I am fallible and at times get caught up by my hearts yearnings, it doesn't make me a bad person. It just means I'm not a robot.

Over & out.

Mich

4 comments:

  1. those family members of your unnamed dear friend must pretty damn naiive!!!
    I cannot imagine being that unaware;)

    Love your blog bro, totally lights up my day.
    Happy you got through ramfest! viva la recovery

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  2. Love yours too hun! It's like a freaking awesome comic book!

    And yes, those said unamed family are so damn unaware.;P ..Funny how the screwy counterparts (i.e u and I) always get it far easier ('get it' as in understand, not the life's easier bit.) How many ambiguous statements can one being make.

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  3. Awesome read Mich, very enrapturing, love your writing style. Here's to celebrating the joys of moving on! x

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    1. Thanx Sher! Here here to that!x

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