A foreign concept almost 8 months ago, and today it is one I am so familiar with.
Nearly 8 months ago I would have scoffed at you had you told me to write a gratuity list and told you, 'be grateful for what?' and yet here I sit today and I have the warmest fuzziest feeling in my tummy because I have the best friends a girl could ask for. And shock horror, some of them are girls...this I myself find hard to believe. How life has changed.
That is the beauty of never knowing what is coming next.
Last night, lets just say it wasn't my finest moments emotionally. Even in recovery I am a pro at shoving down and numbing feelings though not with the use of drugs, but rather with preoccupation such as work.
Last night after my final shift at Exclusive Books it all hit me like a ton of bricks. Suddenly I had a moment alone with my thoughts and BOOM there those thoughts were.
The best line I ever heard in rehab was 'your mind is a dangerous place, your likely to get hijacked there' and it still rings true. Boy can my mind take me to a dark place, and once I allow it too, the cravings to numb it with the use of mind altering substances begin to flow in. Thankfully I have the tools to handle them and friends who I know I can talk to no matter the situation, no matter how silly I think the topic is that is making me crave. There is no judgement there. There is only understanding and acceptance. And for that I am so grateful.
I love you guys, I hope you know that! <3
Over & out.
Mich
Nearly 8 months ago I would have scoffed at you had you told me to write a gratuity list and told you, 'be grateful for what?' and yet here I sit today and I have the warmest fuzziest feeling in my tummy because I have the best friends a girl could ask for. And shock horror, some of them are girls...this I myself find hard to believe. How life has changed.
That is the beauty of never knowing what is coming next.
Last night, lets just say it wasn't my finest moments emotionally. Even in recovery I am a pro at shoving down and numbing feelings though not with the use of drugs, but rather with preoccupation such as work.
Last night after my final shift at Exclusive Books it all hit me like a ton of bricks. Suddenly I had a moment alone with my thoughts and BOOM there those thoughts were.
The best line I ever heard in rehab was 'your mind is a dangerous place, your likely to get hijacked there' and it still rings true. Boy can my mind take me to a dark place, and once I allow it too, the cravings to numb it with the use of mind altering substances begin to flow in. Thankfully I have the tools to handle them and friends who I know I can talk to no matter the situation, no matter how silly I think the topic is that is making me crave. There is no judgement there. There is only understanding and acceptance. And for that I am so grateful.
I love you guys, I hope you know that! <3
Over & out.
Mich
oooh... yuck typo on line, 13, word 22, should have proof read this again. eish - meant to be 'to' not 'too'. Oopsie. The joys of writing full of passion and emotions running through the veins.
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