Tuesday, 12 November 2013

Perfection - a myth


The concept of perfection, she is not natural. She is not found in nature. She is but a myth we have created to keep ourselves unhappy. 

Forever and a day I strived to be the "perfect" example of what those around me wanted to be. I failed dismally of course, seeing as that I am but a mere mortal (albeit not a "muggle" per say).

Irrational Fear

I have sat toying with the concept of writing this piece for months now, knowing that the only thing stopping me was my preconceived ideas surrounding what those I know would think of me should I. Crazy I know, but sometimes that is what is going on up in my head.

 All this changed after one conversation this morning. Those fears melted away after opening up the big bag of crazy. It's funny what a mind shift one can have while chatting to a fellow "non-muggle-type" can do to remind you why you started on this self-exploration train nearly 2 years and 5 months ago (not to say it hadn't started long before, but it become more defined within this time).

Now while I may not have kept up with the conventional program, the program I set myself, the one of self-discovery, learning healthy coping mechanisms and applying them all the while striving to be the best possible version of myself, that I can confidently say I have. Not perfect, but happy. Content most days (something I for a long time deemed an impossible state of mind for one such as myself). I can honestly say that it's nearly 2 and half years on and I am happier than I have ever been.


I know myself better than I have ever. Not because I didn't before, but because I allowed people's preconceived concepts of myself and what I was meant to be blur the lines between who I was (a skinny nerd with big boobs, a tomboy who loves nature & is happiest at the ocean, but could easily get lost within a book for days and so much more). For I am not one thing, I am merely a compilation of my many varying interests & life experiences. A creation built over time through those who have molded me by touching my life at various points, be that about myself, the world or everything in between. I am me. I am the pieces that make up me. I am.

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I could be this content, living a balanced lifestyle that feeds all parts of my personality, but here I sit late one night at the office and I type this, the reminder. The reminder that when I really look at it, really take the time to reflect, the growth I see is exponentially larger than what I thought when I was holding that little piece of paper too close to see the entire picture.

Over & Out.


Friday, 25 October 2013

Ready, set, achieve your Dreams.

Ready, set, achieve your Dreams.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” - Mark Twain

First step: Setting Goals

A prime example being my week that just passed. I set goals & almost all were achieved (one was partially, but I cannot in good faith count it, the perfectionist in me will not allow for it). Thriving under pressure, a short time span was set. Momentum is now needed to keep this progress going, but as I mentioned in my last post, you always know in your heart of hearts where the truth lies.And I got this.

This got me thinking. What are the ways in which are best to set goals for yourself and to achieve them and as such I came up with this.

How to achieve your dreams:
  1.  Know yourself: Set goals, but personalize them so as to circumvent the bad habits that might cut you off at the knees (we all have them, just got to work with them).
  2. Deadline: Make sure that your deadline is of importance or will motivate you, e.g. A holiday away
  3. Baby Steps: Pace yourself in order to keep up momentum.  
  4. Tell someone: This creates a sense of responsibility and will make it harder to drop the ball. (Maybe even grab a group of friends together and set goals and motivate it each other to achieve them)
  5. Persistence: If you don't get it right the 1st time, try, try, again.
Rinse & repeat. 

Now some of you that have read this may say, well, I don't know where to start. You, good sir/madam are lying. There is a dream inside of all of us (yes, I just quoted Mr Schuester in Glee). It may be daunting and scary or perhaps perceived to be unattainable. Or perhaps your parents/one of them are like mine: fear holds a tight grip, so tight they cannot nor do they want to, see passed their comfort zone & they keep telling you why it won't work. If you're anything like me though, you're an adventurer (albeit sometimes that fear grips you too). Push on. Climb those mountains. They are set for us to climb and it would be a waste if we didn't at least try.

Over & Out.


Monday, 21 October 2013

A Beautiful Conundrum

Life. It’s a beautiful and at times exasperating cycle that continues to ever evolve and back track until we have hit our stubborn heads against the metaphorical wall enough times to grow from the lessons that have been set out for us. 

Many a late night has been spent pondering these cycles, trying fervently to unravel them piece- by -piece. I want to understand the world, the psyche and everything in between. I am forever curious and like many, seek answers; solutions to the many conundrums life has presented me at various stages of my life.

However, one thing remains constant. A constant fear that lurks in the pit of my stomach. I feel a bit like what I imagine the crocs feel like when they swallow a stone (gastrolith) to aid digestion. Heavy. It is a question & a feeling that rings true to many. The fear that I have not, nor ever will have done everything I want to in my life. None of which defines me, but all of which makes up pieces of me.

Currently I reside in my comfort zone, but I once again have itchy feet. I seek new adventures, the wind in my hair, the ocean stretched out in all its grace & glory, new tastes, new sounds and more importantly more chances to grow. New challenges, new conundrums. They are in abundance, they surround me & set me free while suffocating me at the same time. As scary as these new adventures I seek are, as daunting as the probability of landing squarely where I am now, simply in a foreign country (for we carry ourselves with ourselves) I know that my next step is to venture once again beyond these walls of comfort. 

There are times like these that when they stand before us, we know what is written in our heart of hearts. We fear it. We want to ignore the reality. The question is, do we allow the fear of the unknown to cripple us or allow it to be the wind beneath our wings? So we may soar to heights previously unknown or unimaginable to us. This is the question that burns a whole in my head and my heart on so many occasions and forces me once again to take personal inventory. 

The time is now, time to get the fuck out of my comfort zone. I have already been here for too long this time round. And so the cycle continues. Life and her many questions and my quest to unravel at least a part of it. My truth. For after all, we live in a world created by our own perceptions and timing is everything.

Over & Out.



Monday, 26 August 2013


And as he holds her still beating heart in his hands he knows what he has done. He has turned her fears into truth. 

And now it is time for her to heal. For her to gain closure on a book that has no ending. And hope that one day she will find what she thought she had found, true love. 

But before spring comes winter. For without pain growth cannot take place. Buds of a renewed spirit can only be born from the ashes of a heart broken.

Once upon a time, a girl met a boy, a boy being the operative word, but a boy she loved nonetheless.